Harvard Variations

So you cannot decide to embark on the college journey without at least visiting what's considered the "Mecca" of all college visits: Harvard! No one wants to look like just a visitor there. No, of course you want to look as if you go there! So here are a few pointers on how to look the part:

1. Casually sit on the steps of the admissions building and catch up on a bit of "light reading." In this case, you must have the entire contents of The Great Gatsby printed on a cashmere scarf! (Bonus points if you've actually read the book or an admissions officer walks past you, retraces his steps, and approaches you, demanding your name because he/she wants to admit you for reasons of multiculturalism *Legally Blonde reference anyone?*)

2. Sit on an impressive set of stairs in a very public area on campus and look extremely confused/pensive, as if you were pondering something deep. For example, here I am reflecting on Lincoln's usage of the word "necessity."(I think only M will get this ;)

If anyone asks what you are doing, simply say, "Otivm cvm dignitate." If they say, "Pardon?" Reply in an extremely disappointed voice, "Oh, I'm sorry I thought that you spoke Latin."

3. Sneak into an empty classroom in the science building. (Make sure to find one with lots of stuff written on the board.) Begin writing alongside the present material with random (or made-up) formulas, but for heaven's sake do NOT put E=MC^2. When the professor and/or students come back, pretend that you are really focused on the board and do not notice them. Upon questioning, tell them that the figures were ENTIRELY wrong and needed to be corrected asap! If they press the issue, which of course they will, run away screaming, "I told you I don't like Martha Stewart!"At this point, they will all think that you are indeed insane because, honestly, who doesn't like Martha Stewart?

(Just throwing in this picture from the Williams info pamphlet because I thought it was quite fitting..... and amusing)

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Now onto things you should NOT do:

(p.s. these apply to all colleges now)

1. Attempt to feed the museum displays.

2. Spy on an intense biochem exam at Harvard, then promptly take a picture of it. 

People will think that you are a freak.

3. Pose [in pain] as if the school's founding father is stepping on your head. Not cool.